Aoi's Bad Mood and Cookies
by BlackAvengerGirl
Summary: A parody story of the GazettE mainly, but also includes alice nine, THE KIDDIE and Miyavi, etc. Aoi is in a bad mood any what is the reason for that? Rated T for language and some yaoi references. Crack fic. PLEASE R&R!


When Aoi woke up one morning, he knew something was wrong with him. He clambered out of bed, tripping over the tangled sheets on the floor, to his mirror. He looked at himself, his curly black hair sticking up in every direction and droopy eyes. He poked and prodded at his face, before coming to a very important conclusion...

He, Aoi, was in a bad mood.

Grumbling and mumbling he walk out of his bedroom into the kitchen for breakfast. He opened the cupboard to find that he had run out of his favourite cereal. This was REALLY bad, and considering that he was already in a bad mood, it made the situation a whole lot worst. 'GODAMMIT, WHY THE FUCK DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TODAY? I HATE YOU GOD!' he yelled out and ran to his bedroom to grab a pillow and scream in it.

His tantrum was interrupted when his mobile phone rang the ringtone of GazettE song, Headache Man. He cleared his now-sore throat and grabbed his phone, flipping it open.

'Yeah, what do you want?' he said slightly irritated.

'Good morning, Aoi-kun, did you sleep well?' Kai chirped on the other side.

'I wish.' Aoi lied. He did sleep well, but right now he was in a crisis of a lifetime.

'You need to stop hanging out at clubs until four in the health is going to deteriorate.'

'I do not go nightclubbing! That's something Uruha does!'

'I heard that!'

'Uruha, what the hell are you doing on the phone?'

'I'm at Kai's house.'

'Why the hell are you there?'

'I'm here for breakfast. I accidentally destroyed my kitchen this morning.'

'You are so stupid.'

'You're being a jerk.'

'Are you sure you didn't stay over or something? Did you bump?'

'EH? You...you...asshole. GO DROWN IN THE TOILET!'

There was a sound of the phone being moved and then Kai was back on. 'You hurt Uruha-kun's feelings. He's crying.'

'I didn't even do anything!'

'You asked him something disturbing.'

'He told me to drown in the fucking toilet!'

Kai sighed on the other side.

'Aoi-kun, you're in a bad mood aren't you?'

'You only noticed now?'

'No, I knew when you answered my very first question. Anyways, I'll see you at practice, ne?'

'Yeah, whatever. See ya.'

Aoi hung up and then stared at the wall for a few minutes dumbly. The empty room was filled with stomach growls. He rubbed it and murmured something about toilets and bento boxes.

_ZZZZZZZZ_ZZZZZZZZ_

At the studio, Aoi's mood decreased even more, due to having an empty stomach and a speed ticket because of his reckless driving to work. He blamed that incident on his stomach and Kai's unnecessary phone call.

Damn that Kai.

Aoi was smoking a cigarette when the rest of the band members came in. Uruha was singing 'Silly God Disco' which was really bad cause Uruha can't sing to save his life, Ruki and Reita were arguing over something stupid and Kai was literally bouncing into the room.

'Reita, you have to stop doing this! It's so annoying when you start singing along with me during a song. You have your role, I have mine. Here, look.' Ruki complained, flailing his hands in the air and hitting Uruha in the face as a result.

Ruki picked up a piece of paper and shoved it in Reita's face. 'See? Vocalist: _RUKI. _Bassist: _REITA. _Get it?'

Reita pretended to be asleep.

'REITA!' Ruki screamed, bashing Reita with his fist.

'EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP OR ELSE I WON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRIES ANYMORE!' Aoi yelled out, cutting everyone's attention. The other members stared at him in shock. Everything was quiet for a few minutes until Uruha, Ruki and Kai ran to the older man with tears in their eyes.

'How could you not believe?' Ruki sobbed.

'Please forgive us!' Uruha pleaded.

'But they're so sparkly!' Kai cried.

Aoi stared at them with a look that clearly says, WHAT THE FUCK?, while Reita was still faking sleep. That bastard.

'Fine! Just stop giving me puppy eyes.' Aoi growled trying to look away from the too-cute sight in front of his eyes.

'Why is Aoi-kun very snappy today?' Reita asked, snapping out of his sleepy mode.

'I have no more of that fucking cereal left.' Aoi mumbled, taking a puff of his ciggie.

'Is that the one where you get a free toy in every packet?' Kai asked.

'Yeah. I love that cereal. The toys are so much fun to collect.'

'I know right? Can I see your collection? I'm curious to see what ones you've collected.'

'When do you want to come over?'

'How's next Sunday?'

'Cool with me.'

'Hey, stop trailing off the topic at hand here!' Reita snapped at the toy-obsessed men. Aoi and Kai nodded in apology as Reita pulled out a cigarette.

'I don't think there was a proper topic in the first place.' Uruha said pulling on a jacket. He grabbed his car keys and his bag. 'Well, I'm gonna leave now. I have to go to my parent's house. My kitchen is still retarded.'

'I told you not to make those omelettes.' Kai sighed resting his head on his palm.

'Well, I'm off!' Uruha waved a goodbye and skipped out of the door.

Aoi flicked the rude finger and stubbed his cigarette on Ruki's shoulder.

/

That very afternoon, Aoi and Reita were at a supermarket, obviously looking for the cereal.

'Aoi, can you remind me why I'm here again? I don't really think I need to come with you.' Reita sighed as he followed Aoi who was looking through every crack and corner for his cereal. Aoi growled in frustration. 'You're here, because one: you're the only one who doesn't believe in fairies like those other idiots, two: I need one more pair of eyes and hands to help find this fucking cereal!'

'Okay, okay. No need to get cocky. Okay, I'll go look over there.' Reita disappeared in a different isle. He paced down the isle, looking at all the different foods. He came to the section which held all the 2 minute noodles and began browsing through them obviously.

'Hmm, I should try the pork flavour ones this time. Oh! They have chilli flavour! That's even more amazing! The amazing texture of the noodles makes me want to just melt! And the spiciness reminds me of that delicious spicy curry that my grandmother used to make! It tastes so similar!' Manly tears flowed down his face as he began this long speech about the beauty and nature of noodles.

'Umm...Reita?'

Reita turned his head to the right to face Aoi who looked slightly frightened. 'Oh, hi Aoi. Did you find the cereal?'

A big cheesy smile was plastered on his face as he held up the shopping basket...which was overflowing with boxes of the same cereal. Reita dropped the noodle cup he was holding.

'YOU'RE BUYING ALL THAT?'

Aoi's grin didn't leave his face. 'Now I won't run out for a long time. Though I'm a bit worried about how all this would cost. So I was wondering if...'

'So _that's _why you brought me along?' Reita had a look of disbelief on his face. Aoi didn't answer and instead walked away towards the cashier.

He waved his hand in the air. 'Come on Reita! Don't worry, I'm sure they'll give me a discount, considering that I'm the mighty Aoi from the GazettE.'

Reita gave a small whimper and sadly put the noodles down and followed Aoi, glancing over his shoulder at the noodles until they disappeared from sight.

/

Uruha knocked onto the front door of his parents' house and waited nervously. The door opened to reveal a young woman, with silky brown hair and she looked at Uruha up and down before slamming the door in his face.

'Nee-chan! It's me! Koukyou! Your little brother! I'm in desperate need for assistance!' the distressed man cried out banging at the door.

The door opened again.

'Oh sorry, Koukyou. I thought you were _that _man again. Well, never mind. Come in.' his sister made way for him to enter in which he did.

'Are you staying here or something?'

Uruha scratched his head and laughed nervously. 'It's a long story.'

Uruha went into the living room, in which he saw his parents sitting on the couch watching TV. His mother squealed when she saw her son walk in, and jumped up, knocking the bowl of Twisties all over her husband.

'Mo-oom! I just cleaned that carpet!' whined Uruha's sister, face-palming herself.

'Koukyou! What a lovely surprise! What brings you here? Please don't tell me you're being stalked.' the woman gave her son a bear hug, which almost killed him right there.

'N-No, Okaa-san. I tried to make omelettes this morning and...and...I blew up my kitchen.' Uruha quickly grabbed his cardboard Legend of Zelda shield, that he made that morning, and held it between him and his mother.

/

Kai was just making himself dinner when his phone rang. He clapped his hands together to wipe the flour off his hands and wiped the rest on his purple 'Kiss The Chef' apron before picking up the phone with a cheery hello.

'Kai. It's me, Reita.'

Reita sounded really, really, really, really, really depressed for some random reason.

'Reita-kun? What's the matter? You sound terrible.'

'Something terrible has happened. Today, Aoi dragged me to the supermarket right? He wanted to buy another box of that fucking cereal that he was moping on about. So while he was looking, I went to go see if I could buy some dinner, which I came across chilli flavoured noodles.'

'Reita-kun, that's very unhealthy.'

'Shut up. You, a very good cook, are forgetting that I, Suzuki Akira, cannot cook to save his ass!'

'Sorry. Anyway, continue.'

'Yeah, so I found those noodles and I kinda went into a daze. Then Aoi comes with a shopping basket _filled _with that shit cereal! I don't even have enough money to buy a new bottle of my favourite cologne! Isn't that horrible? He made _me _pay for the fucking cereal!'

'I see. What kind of toys did he collect? Did he get any good ones?'

'KAI! YOU AND YOUR TOY OBSESSION ARE NOT HELPFUL IN THIS SITUATION!' Reita screamed loudly so that Kai had to hold the phone away from his ear to prevent himself from going deaf right there on the spot.

'Fine, fine. I'm sorry. I just got excited there, you know?'

'Kai, you can be so weird, you know that?'

'Yeah, I kinda figured that after I bumped my head on the table when I was six. I think I did some serious damage.'

'...'

'Yeah...'

/

'Mad at you? Why would we be mad?'

'Well...I _did _blow up my only kitchen...'

Uruha and his parents were at the table while his older sister was preparing tea. When Uruha braced himself after he told his mother that his kitchen had...well...ceased to exist, instead of receiving his mother's one-hit special, he just got a 'Oh poor baby! You didn't damage that beautiful face did you?'

Thank god for that.

Back to the present...

His mother waved a hand with a look of disapproval. 'Don't worry about that. At least you didn't hurt yourself. Imagine if you hurt your hands and had to stop playing guitar which is really bad because that means you'll have to leave the GazettE and that band's your whole life!' the woman said in one breath.

'Yeah right, Okaa-san. You just want an excuse to brag about your son being famous.' Uruha's sister said with a smirk as she put out four cups of tea on the table. Uruha took his to sip at it.

'You're awfully quiet over there, Otou-san.' Uruha asked his father who was sipping at his tea in silence. His father looked up at him and instantly broke out in a cold sweat. 'Sorry, excuse me for a moment.' he stood up and left the room.

Uruha felt hurt at this point and felt like crying. 'Did that man just reject his son?' he sat there gawping in disbelief.

'Oh sorry dear. Recently, he discovered a fanfiction site with your band and well...he read some with you in it and hasn't been the same again. But just give him some time and I'm sure he'll come round.' His mother patted her son's hand comfortingly.

'I hope so. Those fanfic sites can be nasty.' Uruha shook his head to remove his thoughts off the topic.

/

Ruki had just finished making a special deluxe chocolate and vanilla icecream sundae with caramel sauce, rainbow sprinkles and a red cherry. 'Hmmm. Yummy. Come to papa, icecream sundae!' he yelled out in glee to himself, holding a gigantic spoon in his hand.

Just as the spoon dug into the smooth icecream, he heard his phone ring. 'YOU STUPID PHONE! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ENTER HEAVEN!' Ruki roared in anger stomping over to his phone.

'What do you want?' Ruki demanded into the phone.

'Oh hi Ruki! It's me, Miyavi! Don't tell me you've forgotten your own lover?' Miyavi's voice wailed dramatically on the other side.

'We were never lovers Miyavi! Stop lying and tell me what the fuck you want!' Ruki snapped.

'Awwwww, you're so mean~! Anyways, Saga and Hiroto have invited us to a party at Saga's place. They asked me to invite you all Gazemen. And then they would take care of the rest of Alice Nine. I'll be there as well. And THE KIDDIE guys will be coming as well.'

'Oh no. Not THE KIDDIE.'

'Yes Ruki-chan. THE KIDDIE will be coming.'

Ruki slapped himself in the forehead. 'Remember last time they came to a party? Everyone was fussing over them like they were some kind of gods. You were doing it too!'

'But they're so cute~! Especially Yusei, he's so adorable!' Miyavi squealed in excitement.

'You are so weird. I'm hanging up.'

'Ruki, wai-!' Miyavi was cut off as Ruki slammed the phone down and sat down at the table.

He smiled sweetly at the sundae as he picked up the spoon. 'Now, where were we?'

/

'What the fuck is this?'

Reita and Uruha were standing in the middle of what could be the most shit party to ever exist in humanity. They also received an invite to Saga and Hiroto's 'awesome' party, plus a bonus love confession from Miyavi, which was bluntly turned down.

In Saga's house, there was a bouncy castle outside (special Barbie edition), a pinata in the shape of a pink and white unicorn which Ruki and Tora were bashing up with Aoi's shoe, a table with party food, streamers, balloons, party games which would be used in a 5 year old's birthday party and there were even party hats!

Shou bounced up to them, wearing a green dinosaur costume. 'Hi guys! This party is AWESOME!'

Suddenly there was a loud explosion and the smell of smoke filled the air quickly. Hiroto shouted from outside. 'HEY! WHO SET OFF THAT BOMB IN THE PINATA?'

Tora poked his head around the door. 'Sorry! We'll be more careful next time!'

'WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUT A BOMB IN THE PINATA? THERE'S NO CANDY! YOU TRAITOR!' Ruki screamed from the living room. Miyavi held up a microphone. 'Hey guys! Let's play SingStar!'

So the GazettE, Miyavi and alice nine, played SingStar til the doorbell rang again. Saga jumped to his feet and ran to the door, giggling in excitement.

Aoi and Ruki looked at each other. 'Uh oh. THE KIDDIE's here.'

* * *

><p><strong>Haha! This is a random story alright! :D <strong>

**I will upload another chapter but I'll need some reviews to get motivated, so please REVIEW! **


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